- Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser: Banker?
- Chris Thorne: No, not banker. Financial publisher. "Thorne Weekly"?
- Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser: Ok, banker.

Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser
Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne

“I've been in consultation with our Director and we've decided that what has been needed in this bank for a long time is a special officer. Or, to refer to the article of the underworld, a bank dick. In lieu of your heroism, your valiant, dauntless courage, I have the honor to offer you this position.”

Pierre Watkin - Mr. Skinner

“- Loan broker: So, you found your dream house. And right now you're asking First Boise Savings & Loan to give you a mortgage.
- Arlo Pear: As you can see, I've had the same job for 15 years.
- Loan broker: Well, that's very nice, but it's not enough. I mean, Al Capone had the same job for 30 years.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Loan Broker
Richard Pryor - Arlo Pear

“- Annie Banks: He's an independentcommunications consultant.
- George Banks: Independent?
- Annie Banks: Yes.
- George Banks: That's code for unemployed!”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks
Steve Martin - George Banks

“- Francis: What? Are you gonna fire me?
- Steve Jobs: No! I already fired you!... Why are you still here?”
Evan Helmuth - Francis
Ashton Kutcher - Steve Jobs