“- Mary: Gertie, I've gotta go pick up Elliot. Will you be a good girl until I get back?
- Gertie: Mommy, he can talk!
- Mary: [thinking she meant Elliott instead of E.T.] Of course he can talk. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Stay there.”
Dee Wallace - Mary
Drew Barrymore - Gertie

- Brax: Shit man, you and me here, what are the odds?
- Christian Wolff: Statistically speaking...
- Brax: Christ man, it's rhetorical, I mean "really"!
Jon Bernthal - Brax
Ben Affleck - Christian Wolff

“- Kay Bentley: She's an old schoolmate of mine from grammar school.
- Michael Shayne: I haven't seen any old girls.
- Kay Bentley: She's not old - about my age.
- Michael Shayne: And still going to grammar school? She's a little mentally round-shouldered!”
Lynn Bari - Kay Bentley
Lloyd Nolan - Michael Shayne

“- Gail Richards: Good night.
- Lillian - the Housekeeper: I hope you rest in peace.
- Gail Richards: Thank you. [turns to Ann] Isn't that what they write on tombstones?”
Joan Blondell - Gail Richards
Rafaela Ottiano - Lillian - the Housekeeper

- "Doc": Did you ever go to school, stupid?
- "Wishy": Yeah and I came out the same way.
Bud Abbott - "Doc"
Lou Costello - "Wishy"