“- Angelica: I already learned to parsley-boo Francie. That means speak French.
- Susie Carmichael: I feel bad for the French people who will hear you.”
Cheryl Chase - Angelica
Cree Summer - Susie Carmichael

“- Defense Attorney: Talk so the jury can understand!
- Curly: Is everybody dumb?”

Bud Jamison - Defense Attorney
Curly Howard - Curly

“- Young Roland: You might fuck around and say some shit that'll get you shot.
- Young Mike: Shot?
- Young Roland: Shot? Ya know? Guns? Bang-bang? This nigga don't know nothin'!”
Trent Cameron - Young Roland
Sean Nelson - Young Mike

“- Congresswoman Libby Hauser: You have the full support of the Sunshine State!
- Paulette: Yay for Ohio!”
Dana Ivey - Congresswoman Libby Hauser
Jennifer Coolidge - Paulette

“- Morgan: What am I supposed to do?
- Dalton: There's always barber college.”
Terry Funk - Morgan
Patrick Swayze - Dalton