“- Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom?
- Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father... may be going away for a little while.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
- Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
- Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
- Clark Griswold: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
- Clark Griswold: No, sir, I don't.
- Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.”
James Keach - Motorcycle Cop
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Sincere: Yo, did you not see that fucking red light, man?
- Tommy 'Buns' Bundy: Man, you think I give a fuck about a montherfucking red light? Faggotcops can't touch me. I'm out here smoking weed, speeding, all that, dawg. Fuck that. That's me. Untouchable.”
Nas - Sincere
DMX - Tommy 'Buns' Bundy

“- Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a social security number?
- Beldar Conehead: Correct.
- Otto: Why not?
- Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.”
Sinbad - Otto
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead