“- Lt. Aldo Raine: Are you going to take off your uniform?
- Pvt. Butz: Not only shall I remove it, I intend to burn it.
- Lt. Aldo Raine: Yeah, that's what we thought. We don't like that. You see, we like our Nazis in uniform. That way you can spot 'em just like that. But you take off that uniform, ain't no one ever gonna know you were a Nazi.”

Brad Pitt - Lt. Aldo Raine
Sönke Möhring - Pvt. Butz

“- Capt. Hermann Musk: Otto, I'm not a Nazi.
- Otto: No, you're worse. Lousy officers. You went along with it all, even though you knew who was in charge.”
Karel Hermánek - Hauptmann Musk
Sylvester Groth - Otto

“Hitler ended up in a ditch covered in petrol on fire... so, that's fun. I think that's funny. Because he was a mass-murdering fuck-head!”
Eddie Izzard - Himself

Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob

“Stop torturing me. The Germans are already doing a fine job.”
Robin Williams - Jakob