“- Annie Banks: He's an independentcommunications consultant.
- George Banks: Independent?
- Annie Banks: Yes.
- George Banks: That's code for unemployed!”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks
Steve Martin - George Banks

“- Natalie: Is this how you normally get to work?
- Donny: Um, if I had a job, yeah.
- Natalie: ...Are you gonna get a job?”
Rebel Wilson - Natalie
Brandon Scott Jones - Donny

“- Unemployment Official: Mr. Rabbitte, you've been collecting unemployment benefit for two years. Are you trying to tell me you can't get a job?
- Jimmy Rabbitte: We're a third world country - what can you do?”
Pat Leavy - Unemployment Official
Robert Arkins - Jimmy Rabbitte

“- Preston: Wyatt, I'm broke. I can't live on nothing.
- Wyatt: And I can't live on ten-percent of nothing.
- Preston: You're a monster.
- Wyatt: I'm an agent. For an agent, being a monster is just credentials.”
James Remar - Preston
Robert Klein - Wyatt

“A jester unemployed is nobody's fool.”
Danny Kaye - Hubert Hawkins