“No, your grace, I did not know they were topless dancers. Well, they certainly helped raise a lot of money for the church.”
Flip Brown - Father Lawrence

“- Alex: You've been spending our rent money on Filipino hookers?
- Josh: They're not hookers! They're massage therapists.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Jonathan Loughran - Josh

“- Clive: [mockingly] I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, Ok. Then, I'll give you your body back because it soooo important to you.
- Clive: Waa waa I'm crying about my body... And then, you can just loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts.”
Rachel McAdams - Clive\Jessica

“- Raoul Duke: Straight economics, man. This girl is a godsend. Shit, she can make us a grand a day.
- Dr. Gonzo: That's ugly, man. Stop talking like that.
- Raoul Duke: I figure she can do about four at a time. If we keep her full of acid that's more like two grand a day. Maybe three.”
Johnny Depp - Raoul Duke
Benicio del Toro - Dr. Gonzo

“Let me tell you something. You can continue to live in your little fantasy world with your baseball cards and the autographed bullshit or whatever the fuck is it you do, but me, I got to eat and pay the rent. Phone sex is acting, and if you don't like it, you can step.”

Theresa Randle - Girl 6