“No, your grace, I did not know they were topless dancers. Well, they certainly helped raise a lot of money for the church.”
Flip Brown - Father Lawrence

“- Prostitute: I'll give you a discount.
- Roy O'Bannon: That's the most romantic thing a woman has ever said to me.”
Alison King - Prostitute
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“Let me tell you something. You can continue to live in your little fantasy world with your baseball cards and the autographed bullshit or whatever the fuck is it you do, but me, I got to eat and pay the rent. Phone sex is acting, and if you don't like it, you can step.”

Theresa Randle - Girl 6

“You want to know what I do for a living? Ask me. My time is very expensive, Mr. MacMillan. Probably more than yours. I get 500 dollars an hour. How much do you get? I get four-hundred dollars for a straight lay, three-hundred for a hand job, and five-hundred for head. If you want to wear my panties, that's another hundred.”

Barbra Streisand - Claudia Draper

“- Clive: [mockingly] I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, Ok. Then, I'll give you your body back because it soooo important to you.
- Clive: Waa waa I'm crying about my body... And then, you can just loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts.”
Rachel McAdams - Clive\Jessica