“Listen you bunch of butterfingered milk saps! The way you're playing you couldn't beat a girl's basketball team. We've gotta win this game! You understand?”

Groucho Marx - Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff

“- Michelle Dubois: Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once.
- René: Well, in that case, could you please speak slowly?”
Kirsten Cooke - Michelle Dubois
Gorden Kaye - René Artois

“- Lucas: Just give me one chance. One play.
- Coach: Get out of here, I said. Get off of the field.
- Lucas: I'll make you a deal. You have nothing to lose. They're whipping your ass, anyway.
- Coach: Listen to me...
- Lucas: Put me in, I'll never come back, I swear. Just let me play today. You have nothing to lose, just let me in.”

Corey Haim - Lucas
Guy Boyd - Coach

“- Maggie: You could have gotten killed.
- Lucas: Did we win?
- Maggie: No way.
- Lucas: Boy. They sure were big.
- Maggie: I don't want you ever playing football again.”

Kerri Green - Maggie
Corey Haim - Lucas

I sucked so bad they used to pick me after the white kids. They used to say "Man I can't believe I picked a nigga that can't play".

Chris Rock - Caretaker