“- Frida Kahlo: Don't think I am going to sleep with you just because you took me under your wing.
- Diego Rivera: Before you came along, I was painting murals and womanizing in peace.”
Salma Hayek - Frida Kahlo
Alfred Molina - Diego Rivera

“- Dana: Now remember, don't be scared! That's the most important thing. And uh, don't... don't talk about your past. That turns men off.
- Angel: I don't have a past, idiot.”

Alexa Kenin - Dana
Kristy McNichol - Angel

“- Debbie: Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.
- Pete: Who needs a time machine?”

Leslie Mann - Debbie
Paul Rudd - Pete

“I am over 35-years-old. I am physically unable to bear children. And I pay alimony to my ex-husband, who is a faggot. Yet I am willing to bet that all of you would fuck me over that desk right now if you knew you'd be having lunch with Harrison Ford as soon as you blew your wad.”
Joan Cusack - Fanny Nash

“- Valerie Weston: I'm gonna go home, Steven. That's right. I'm serious. Because of you, I'm gonna get gangbanged, Steven. Gangbanged in Woodland Hills.
- Steven Schats: A lot of great actresses started out in porn.”
Calista Flockhart - Valerie Weston
Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats