“- Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!
- Malcolm: Yeah but, John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.”
Richard Attenborough - Hammond
Jeff Goldblum - Malcolm

“This is a tragedy! A fine young man has been struck down. God-fearing, church-going, never in trouble, graduating from high school, ready for college - and somebody comes along - some rich white people in a rich white man's car and wham! They run him down and never even stop. Now what are we going to do about these parking tickets?”

John Lee Hancock - Reverend Bacon

“- Nicholas Angel: Did you find anything?
- DS Andy Wainwright: Yeah, I looked at my watch, and I found out that it's way past time to stop working and that I should be at the pub.”
Simon Pegg - Nicholas Angel
Paddy Considine - DS Andy Wainwright

“- Amanda: Am I late?
- Jerry Falk: Not if we go by Rocky Mountain time.”
Christina Ricci - Amanda
Jason Biggs - Jerry Falk

“- Adam Carr: I'm sorry that I couldn't make it to the art show.
- Kate Davies: Don't worry, you didn't miss much. Just Dorothy's boyfriend getting attacked by some crazy woman and some really bad art. I mean, the stuff was basically porn!”
David Boreanaz - Adam Carr
Marley Shelton - Kate Davies