“- Peter Shepherd: Do you miss mom and dad?
- Judy Shepherd: No.
- Peter Shepherd: Liar. If you don't cut that out, they're gonna send you to a shrink.
- Judy Shepherd: Where do you think they're gonna send you if you don't start talking?”
Bradley Pierce - Peter Shepherd
Kirsten Dunst - Judy Shepherd

“- Jack Byrnes: We use the Ferber method.
- Bernie Focker: We use the Focker method. We hugged and kissed that little boy like there was no tomorrow. We Fockerized him.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker

“- Valentijn Gisberts: Will daddy never come back?
- Danny Gisberts: I don't know, darling. Daddy has been very mean to mommy. That's why mommy doesn't know if she wants him back. That's why mommy was mad. Now she's only sad, just like you.”
Alexander Mouissie - Valentijn Gisberts
Geert de Jong - Danny Gisberts

“Mom, is it possible that you're taking the frustration of your failed marriage out on me?This California trip seems like a great learning opportunity and a chance for me to get to know my father. But if you think it's more important to use me to channel your frustration against the man you no longer love, I'll understand.”
Cameron Bright - Joey Naylor

Let's just think of the day my parents divorce went through as "Big Ugly Hat Day".
Mandy Moore - Halley Martin