“- Woman in Restaurant: Monsieur, is this what I ordered?
- Secondo: Yes, that is the Risotto. It is a special recipe that my brother and I bring from Italy. It's delicious, I promise.
- Woman in Restaurant: It took so long, I thought you went back to Italy to get it.”
Caroline Aaron - Woman in Restaurant
Stanley Tucci - Secondo

“You are useless Ignacio! Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?”

Enrique Muñoz - Señor Ramon

“- Sir Henry: I don't know what I want, but I want it now!
- Mrs. E.: Fried or fired, dear?
- Sir Henry: Now!
- Mrs. E.: Fried?
- Sir Henry: I want my meat burned like Saint Joan.”
Trevor Howard - Sir Henry Rawlinson
Denise Coffey - Mrs. E.

“- Ida Smith: Funny lookin' critters, aren't they, Vincent?
- Vincent Smith: Yeah maybe so. But you know as well as I do. It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters!”
Nancy Parsons - Ida Smith
Rory Calhoun - Vincent Smith

“- Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
- Tulley: Chicken or beef?
- Miles Logan: Chicken. Cool. Cool is good.
- Tulley: Miles?
- Miles Logan: Tulley? What are you doing?
- Tulley: I'm freaking working over here.”
Martin Lawrence - Miles Logan
Dave Chappelle - Tulley