“- Terk: What kind of animal are you?
- Tantor: You know, I've been thinking lately that Tarzan may be some sub-species of elephant.
- Terk: Are you kidding... What are you talking about?
- Tantor: I mean, think about it. He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut...
- Terk: He looks nothing like you!”

Rosie O'Donnell - Terk
Wayne Knight - Tantor

“- Wayne: 'Know what? She's kinda like Mother Teresa.
- J.D.: Yeah, but with way better tits.”
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: [over the radio] Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
- Detective Mike Lowrey: Now, how is that information gonna help me do my job?
- Detective Marcus Burnett: They fuck just like us!”
Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

“- Herr Zeller: I've not asked you where you and your family are going. Nor have you asked me why I am here.
- Captain von Trapp: Well, apparently, we're both suffering from a deplorable lack of curiosity.”
Ben Wright - Herr Zeller
Christopher Plummer - Captain von Trapp

“- Uncle Jesse Duke: You know why tornadoes and blonds are so much alike?
- Luke Duke: No.
- Uncle Jesse Duke: At first, there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you lose your house.”
Willie Nelson - Uncle Jesse Duke
Johnny Knoxville - Luke Duke