“- Louis Prima: Tell us all, we'd all like to know, why do you think you'd only hit .290?
- Ty Cobb: Well, I'm 72 fucking years old you ignorant son of a bitch.”

Eloy Casados - Louis Prima
Tommy Lee Jones - Ty Cobb

“- Mrs. Wilkinson: This'll sound strange, Billy, but for some time now I've been thinkin' of the Royal Ballet School.
- Billy: Aren't you a bit old, miss?
- Mrs. Wilkinson: No, not me... you! I'm the bloody teacher!”
Julie Walters - Mrs Wilkinson
Jamie Bell - Billy

“- Professor Albright: How are you feeling?
- Young Damian: It's that new body smell.
- Professor Albright: A sense of humor, good... Just relax and have some fun. After all, at your age, I'd say you've earned it.”
Matthew Goode - Albright
Ryan Reynolds - Young Damian

“- Oscar Madison: If you didn't have the brains to pee back at the airport, how could you possibly read that sign?
- Felix Ungar: Reading and peeing are two different things!
- Oscar Madison: At your age you're lucky you can do either one.”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jack Lemmon - Felix Ungar

- Grandpa Gustafson: And finally, the baby bear looked and he said, "Somebody's sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldylocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair-trigger!
- Allie, Melanie's Daughter: That's not the way it goes!
- Grandpa Gustafson: And that was the end of the Three Bears.
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson
Katie Sagona - Allie, Melanie's Daughter