“- Nick Pirandello: You've got a sense of humor Bob... I like that in a man.
- Bob Wilson: What do you like in a woman?
- Nick Pirandello: Big tits.”
Jim Belushi - Nick Pirandello
John Ritter - Bob Wilson

“- Londet: Great boobs!
- Daniel: All this... and you look at that?
- Londet: You look at what you like. I'll look at what I like.”
Graham Fletcher-Cook - Londet
Thelonious Bernard - Daniel

- Stuart: I wanna see breasts. I wanna see Jamie Lee's breasts. When do we see Jamie Lee's breasts?
- Randy: Breasts? Not until "Trading Places" in 1983. Jamie Lee was always a virgin in horror movies. She didn't show her tits 'til she went legits.
Matthew Lillard - Stuart
Jamie Kennedy - Randy

“- Cop: Who do you like better, Picard or Kirk?
- Nick: There's no question about it. Kirk.
- Cop: You bet! You gotta respect a guy who can fuck a green bitch and destroy a whole civilization, all in 60 minutes.”

Paulina Porizkova - Cop
Aaron Eckhart - Nick

“It was good, but I think I liked it better the first time I saw it... in 1942, you dinosaur!”

Paul Giamatti - Marty Wolf