“- Reggie Hammond: Man, you loaded here. What the fuck's this?
- Torchy's Patron: Tax refund!
- Reggie Hammond: Bullshit! You're too fuckin' stupid to have a job!”

Eddie Murphy - Reggie Hammond
Nick Dimitri - Torchy's Patron

“- Sweet Daddy Dee: Why do you do what you do?
- Jeff Dunham: Why? Because I enjoy it and it's the best way I know to make money.
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the ho!
- Jeff Dunham: Wait a minute, what if I said I do it only because I enjoy it?
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the dumb ho. Ha ha!”
Jeff Dunham - Sweet Daddy Dee
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“I was just checking the specs on the endline for the... rotary... girder... I'm retarded.”

Chris Farley - Tommy

“Do you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl - stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be- I don't know- disappointing and, um... stupid.”

Meryl Streep - Miranda Priestly

“- Leona: Honey, you'd do just fine if you just used your head a little more.
- Daisy: Yeah, well, don't worry about me. I'm gonna slingin' pizza for the rest of my life!”
Conchata Ferrell - Leona
Julia Roberts - Daisy