“- Gordon Bombay: Now here's the long and the short of it: I hate hockey and I don't like kids.
- Peter Mark: What's this supposed to be, a pep talk?
- Gordon Bombay: I'm sure this will be a real bonding experience. One day, maybe one of you will write a book about it in jail.”
Emilio Estevez - Gordon Bombay
J.D. Daniels - Peter

“- Frida Kahlo: You've lost weight.
- Diego Rivera: And you've lost your toes.
- Frida Kahlo: Is that why you're here? To offer your condolences?
- Diego Rivera: I'm here to see how you are. How are you?
- Frida Kahlo: Tired of answering that question. Otherwise, like shit.”
Salma Hayek - Frida Kahlo
Alfred Molina - Diego Rivera

“- Victor: Perhaps he's sick.
- Laverne: Impossible. If twenty years of listening to you two hasn't made him sick by now, nothing will.”

Charles Kimbrough - Victor
Mary Wickes - Laverne

“Take my advice and stay away from broken people.”
Renee Zellweger - Claire Richards

“Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.”
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher