“- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: What the hell is this?
- Elwood Blues: This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving 'em away.
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car!”
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“- Ed Hocken: They can't kick you off the force, Frank! It's just not fair!
- Frank Drebin: I know, Ed. Life isn't always fair. Just think. The next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.”
George Kennedy - Ed Hocken
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“There's not much chance I'm ever getting out of here. Those cops of yours are part of the reason. That's what we've got in common. I got my last armed robbery conviction behind them. The rest is my business.”
F. Murray Abraham - Virgil Cane

“- Sergeant Vincente: You're not out of here in 30 seconds, you got a night in jail!
- Billy Caufield: What kind of bonehead cop would send four confessed mental patients back out in the streets?”
Brad Sullivan - Sergeant Vincente
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“Sire you sure you brought enough guys?”

Kevin Pollak - Hockney