“- Mr. Bel-Goodie: You're a fraud, a charlatan and a rogue, sir!
- Larson E. Whipsnade: Oh, is that in my favor?”
Thurston Hall - Mr. Bel-Goodie
W.C. Fields - Larson E. Whipsnade

“You're not even good enough for the cuss words I know.”
Bette Davis - Joan Winfield

“- Dieter Perez: You are one son of a bitch.
- Professor Lowe: Soon to be, a rich son of a bitch.”
Robert A. Silverman - Dieter Perez
Jonathan Potts - Professor Lowe

“- Winston Connelly: You know what you are? You are an egotistical, self-centered, little brat!
- Tara Mitchell: That's terrific!”
Keanu Reeves - Winston Connelly
Lori Loughlin - Tara Mitchell

“- Susan: If something was wrong, you would tell me, wouldn't you?
- Henry: What do you mean?
- Susan: I mean, sometimes when we're kids, we do things that...
- Henry: What kind of things?
- Susan: Things we feel bad about.
- Henry: I don't feel bad about anything.”
Wendy Crewson - Susan
Macaulay Culkin - Henry