“- Whitney: No one will miss Big Red, Torr. She puts the 'itch' in bitch.
- Courtney: She puts the 'whore' in horrifying.
- Torrance Shipman: You know, it's her last practice; how would you feel?
- Courtney: Big Red has no feelings!”

Nicole Bilderback - Whitney
Clare Kramer - Courtney
Kirsten Dunst - Torrance Shipman

“The music moves me, but it moves me ugly.”
William H. Macy - Dudley Frank

“- Susan: If something was wrong, you would tell me, wouldn't you?
- Henry: What do you mean?
- Susan: I mean, sometimes when we're kids, we do things that...
- Henry: What kind of things?
- Susan: Things we feel bad about.
- Henry: I don't feel bad about anything.”
Wendy Crewson - Susan
Macaulay Culkin - Henry

“- Dieter Perez: You are one son of a bitch.
- Professor Lowe: Soon to be, a rich son of a bitch.”
Robert A. Silverman - Dieter Perez
Jonathan Potts - Professor Lowe

“- Mr. Bel-Goodie: You're a fraud, a charlatan and a rogue, sir!
- Larson E. Whipsnade: Oh, is that in my favor?”
Thurston Hall - Mr. Bel-Goodie
W.C. Fields - Larson E. Whipsnade