“- Ula's Kid: Daddy, what's a nympho?
- Ula: Uh, the nympho is the state bird of Ohio.”
Tache Uesugi - Ula's Kid
Rob Schneider - Ula

“Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not everyday a father can give the world to his child.”

Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“- Jewel: Do you have any children?
- Forrest Tucker: I hope not.”
Sissy Spacek - Jewel
Robert Redford - Forrest Tucker

“- Sheriff Ticker: Did your father ever touch you anywhere?
- Seth Dove: Yeah.
- Sheriff Ticker: Where?
- Seth Dove: In the kitchen.
- Sheriff Ticker: Anywhere else?
- Seth Dove: Anyplace outside the kitchen?”
Robert Koons - Sheriff Ticker
Jeremy Cooper - Seth Dove

“My children will still need a father, and I will still need a husband.”

Rachel Weisz - Clare Crowhurst