“- Junior Healy: Dad, can we go? These people are real idiots.
- Aron Burger: Excuse me, Your Highness. I didn't realize that simple little me and my simple little family weren't good enough for your high and mighty tastes. Hey, I should go and slip on my silk tuxedo and then we can trot out the champagne and the escargots.”
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy
Alan Blumenfeld - Aron Burger

“Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club? Turtle, turtle, turtle!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“- Trudi: Isn't that girl Sara awful? I mean, what's with that accent?
- Harris K. Telemacher: She has an accent because she's English.
- Trudi: Or maybe she's just trying to impress everybody.
- Harris K. Telemacher: Oh, like that big phony, Winston Churchill.”
Marilu Henner - Trudi
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“- Simon Wilder: Which door do I leave from?
- Prof. Pitkannan: At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions.
- Simon Wilder: Okay. Which door do I leave from, asshole?”
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder
Gore Vidal - Prof. Pitkannan

“I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better lunch meat, or whatever it is you white girlscomplain about, ask them why they can't buy a book written by a black man!”

Daryl Mitchell - Mr. Morgan