“Nothing can be done. That's the unfortunate thing about death. It's so terribly final. Even the young can't do anything about it.”

Marie Dressler - Carlotta Vance

“- Martin Brundle: You were there the night my father died; he was working on a cure.
- Stathis Borans: That's why you dragged yourself all the way out here? To find out about a cure?
- Martin Brundle: You're my only hope.”
Eric Stoltz - Martin Brundle
John Getz - Stathis Borans

“- Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
- Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed!”
Udo Kerr - Ronald Camp
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura

“- Parole Officer: You better be there or you'll be having dinner with the sheriff.
[erupts into coughing fit]
- Parole Officer: You understand me, boy?
- Early Grayce: I understand you need to take care of that cough. Put a paper bag over your head and breathe deep. Works every time... peg-armed piece of shit.”
Judson Vaughn - Parole Officer
Brad Pitt - Early Grayce

“You bring in a sous chef from an Italian restaurant and I'm the one in therapy?”

Catherine Zeta-Jones - Kate