“Nothing can be done. That's the unfortunate thing about death. It's so terribly final. Even the young can't do anything about it.”

Marie Dressler - Carlotta Vance

“- J. Worthington Foulfellow: There is only one cure! A vacation! On Pleasure Island!
- Pinocchio: Pleasure Island?
- J. Worthington Foulfellow: Yes! That happy land of carefree boys where everyday's a holiday!”

Walter Catlett - J. Worthington Foulfellow
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio

“Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of.”

Everett Sloane - Mr. Bernstein

“- Willa Weston: What are you doing?
- Vince McCain: I'm freezing him.
- Willa Weston: Why?
- Vince McCain: He's gotta be cryogenically frozen until they find a cure.”
Jamie Lee Curtis - Willa Weston
Kevin Kline - Vince McCain

“- Ronald Camp: I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll have the plumbing checked immediately.
- Ace Ventura: Be sure that you do! If I'd been drinking out of the toilet, I might've been killed!”
Udo Kerr - Ronald Camp
Jim Carrey - Ace Ventura