“- Chong: You're driving like an idiot, man.
- Cheech: I just can't get used to these automatics, man.
- Chong: Yeah, they are real complicated, aren't they?”
Tommy Chong - Chong
Cheech Marin - Cheech

“- Hans Zarba: One of my passengers is hurt.
- Police Commisioner Charles Dreyfus: No wonder; the way you drive, you are lucky they are not all dead.”
Robert Davi - Hans Zarba
Herbert Lom - Police Commisioner Charles Dreyfus

“- Cooter Davenport : I'm fixin' to fix it.
- Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: You're fixin' to fix it? Boy, you couldn't fix an election if your brother was the governor.”

David Koechner - Cooter Davenport
M.C. Gainey - Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane

“Would you like to know why I can't drive this kinda car? I'll tell you why, I'm used to luxury cars. Have you ever heard of a luxury car? You know what luxury means? Ever heard of Cadillac, Cadillac Eldorado? That's what I drive. I drive cars that shift themselves.”

Vincent Gallo - Billy Brown

“- Marlene Lauda: Who are you, should I know you?
- Giovanni: What, you don't know? He's Niki Lauda: Formula One driver and he just signed with Ferrari.
- Marlene Lauda: He's driving like an old man.”
Alexandra Maria Lara - Marlene Lauda
Raffaello Degruttola - Giovanni