“- Leah Russell: Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub?
- Sandra Gangel: No. But if I ever do turn it into a brothel I'll get back to you, ok?”
Tameka Empson - Leah Russell
Linda Henry - Sandra Gangel

“- Mr. Grover: If you're a detective, I'm a monkey's uncle.
- Wolf J. Flywheel: Keep your family out of this!”
Douglass Dumbrille - Mr. Grover
Groucho Marx - Wolf J. Flywheel

“- Senator John McGlory: I always thought you were just really good at your job. But you really are an asshole, aren't you?
- Nick: They go hand in hand, Senator.”
Jay O. Sanders - Senator John McGlory
Denis Colin Leary - Nick

“- Dexter Reed: Man, I can't believe Kurt fired me from Mondo Burger. I mean, he yelled at me, then he insulted me. He made fun of me.
- Ed: Boy, you must really suck.”
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed
Kel Mitchell - Ed

“- Captain Monroe Kelly: So why'd you quit the CIA?
- Dr. Karen Ross: I never worked for the CIA.
- Captain Monroe Kelly: Of course you didn't. But if you had worked for the CIA, why would you quit?
- Dr. Karen Ross: 'Cause they're a loveless bunch of sons of bitches.”
Ernie Hudson - Captain Monroe Kelly
Laura Linney - Dr. Karen Ross