“- Megan McCallister: You're not at all worried that something might happen to Kevin?
- Buzz McCallister: No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.”

Hillary Wolf - Megan McCallister
Devin Ratray - Buzz McCallister

“I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine.”
Steve Martin - George Banks

“In my experience, parents often see their children as they want them to be, not as they are.”
Peter Stormare - Dr. Solomon Eddie

“There are no illegitimate children in this world; only illegitimate parents!”
Joan Plowright - Mary Wallace

“Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's delusions, I should be a part of it.”
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin