“- Ellen Griswold: Audrey, don't cry. Your father didn't mean what he said.
- Audrey Griswold: Yes, he did!
- Ellen Griswold: No, he didn't. He's not going to cut off Jack's balls. Aren't you Clark?... Clark?!
- Clark Griswold: Okay, I won't.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Dana Hill - Audrey Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Kim: Jim, it's your house. They can't arrest you for setting off your own alarm. We'll just tell them we were breaking in.
- Jim: I'm not going back there. Okay?
- Kim: We have to go back.
- Jim: No, because my father will prosecute.
- Kim: His own son?
- Jim: Especially his own son. If Edward tells, I'll kill him.”
Winona Ryder - Kim
Anthony Michael Hall - Jim

“- Damien Thorn: Teddy, don't ever talk about my father again. Do you understand?
- Teddy: Can't you take a joke?
- Damien Thorn: Yes.”
Jonathan Scott-Taylor - Damien Thorn
John J. Newcombe - Teddy

“- Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone: After the wedding, you'll move into a nice ground floor apartment.
- Lisa Provolone: Why a ground floor apartment?
- Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone: Because after I break his legs, he's not gonna make it up any steps!”
Sylvester Stallone - Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone
Marisa Tomei - Lisa Provolone

- Julie "The Cat" Gaffney: I want to know who this new Coach Orion is. My dad said that if I didn't like him, I could come right home.
- Russ Tyler: That's nice. My dad said I better stay in on scholarship or he'll whip my butt.
Colombe Jacobsen-Derstine - Julie "The Cat" Gaffney
Kenan Thompson - Russ Tyler