- Colonel Mustard: I prefer Kipling myself. "The female of the species is more deadly than the male". Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?
- Miss Scarlet: Sure, I'll eat anything.
Martin Mull - Colonel Mustard
Lesley Ann Warren - Miss Scarlet

“- Tommy: La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...
- Richard: [walks in] Oh, I've interrupted happy time! Now I know you want to sit there and keep being not slim, but we gotta work a little today.
- Tommy: That was from 'Star Wars'.
- Richard: I know.”

Chris Farley - Tommy
David Spade - Richard

"The Godfather" is the I Ching. "The Godfather" is the sum of all wisdom. "The Godfather" is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli". What day of the week is it? "Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday."
Tom Hanks - Joe Fox

- Janey Briggs: I knew it. That's a line from "She's All That". I masturbate to that movie.
- Jake Wyler: [to nosy Flight Attendant right behind them] Do you mind?
- Flight Attendant: Not at all, I think masturbation is very healthy.
Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
Molly Ringwald - Flight Attendant

"Silence of the lambs"!
[imitates Hannibal Lecter]
Hello, Clarice. It's good to see you again.

Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy