“- Emily Montgomery: Are you really gay?
- Howard Brackett: Hmm-hmm...
- Emily Montgomery: Was there... any other time you might've told me this? I'm wearing a wedding dress, which you picked out!”
Joan Cusack - Emily Montgomery
Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett

“Gay weddings are so cool. You could have a totally kitschy reception.”
Maddie Corman - Beth

“- Georgia Hines: I love you. Why don't we smarten up and marry each other?
- Jimmy Perrino: Because you're an alcoholic and I'm gay. We'd have trouble getting our kids into a good school.”
Marsha Mason - Georgia Hines
James Coco - Jimmy Perrino

“You're reminding me why being married to you drove me to the brink of homosexuality.”
Dennis Miller - Rafe Guttman

“- Steven Goldstein: Hell! If you and I got married tomorrow, I'd be entitled to your benefits!
- Laurel Hester: Wait, is that a proposal?
- Steven Goldstein: Oh honey. I would marry you, but I wouldn't know what to do with your vagina.”
Steve Carrell - Steven Goldstein
Julianne Moore - Laurel Hester