“I can't finish the novel, I don't know whether he's good or bad.”

Sammi Cheng - Mary

“- Aunt Agnes: What is that you're reading? Show me.
- Cedric: It's the new E. M. Forster novel.
- Aunt Agnes: Oh! Not another of them! Is it amusing?
- Cedric: Why, I find it difficult to identify with the characters, but the locations are quite enchanting.”
Prunella Scales - Aunt Agnes
Robert Portal - Cedric

“- Dexter Cornell: Who are you going to kill for your next novel?
- Hal Petersham: All I need is this one break; after that, I can write anything I want. And you can bet that I won't sit on my laurels like you did!
- Dexter Cornell: Well, at least they were my laurels.”

Dennis Quaid - Dexter Cornell
Daniel Stern - Hal Petersham

“- Peter McGowan: Maybe that's everything in writing: a catchy title.
- Debra Salhany: So is that why you decided to call your first novel 'How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog'?
- Peter McGowan: Oh, that isn't mere affectation. That's a practical guidebook full of juicy bits on suburban terrorism.”
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Peter McGowan
Peri Gilpin - Debra Salhany

“- Dave Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
- Donald Schoenstein: How long you been workin' on it?
- Dave Jennings: Four and a half years.
- Larry Kroger: It must be very good.
- Dave Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?”
Donald Sutherland - Dave Jennings
Peter Riegert - Donald Schoenstein
Tom Hulce - Larry Kroger