“- The Cat: Who's this?
- Sally: That's our babysitter.
- The Cat: So wait, you mean that you pay this woman to sit on babies? Well that's disgusting! I’d do it for nothing.”
Mike Myers - The Cat
Dakota Fanning - Sally

“- Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon.
- Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.”
Luke Wilson - Dr. Peter Flynn
Seymour Cassel - Bert Fischer

“- Assistant: Well Mr. Mooney is downstairs and he is P-I-S-E-D.
- Jane: Pised?”
Selma Blair - Jane Burns

“- Grover Mockridge: Go answer the door. It might be Warner.
- Wilbur Hoolihan: It won't do no good. We're all signed up with Universal.”
Bud Abbott - Grover Mockridge
Lou Costello - Wilbur Hoolihan

“- Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
- Clark Griswold: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
- Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold