- The Cable Guy: When your love is truly giving, it will come back to you ten fold.
- Steven M. Kovacs: You're right. That's incredibly insightful.
- The Cable Guy: I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on "Friday's show".
Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy
Matthew Broderick - Steven M. Kovacs

“Well, Papa, if losing a case depresses you so, why don't you quit practicing law and go into another line of business?”

Judy Garland - Esther Smith

“If you're so depressed, how come you're eating pizza?”

Corey Haim - Lucas

I heard a joke once. Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town". Man bursts into tears. "But doctor, I am Pagliacci".
Jackie Earle Haley - Rorschach

“I know how you white boys always deal with that depression. I don't understand what you white boys are all depressed about. Hey, you're white! Smile!”
Chris Rock - Caretaker