“- Hercules: When I was a kid, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.
- Meg: You wanted to be petty and dishonest?”
Tate Donovan - Hercules
Susan Egan - Meg

“- K.C. Downing: Do you think there are funny people and not-funny people?
- Benjy Stone: Yes. Definitely. On the funny side there are the Marx Brothers, except Zeppo; the Ritz Brothers, no exceptions; both Laurel and Hardy; and Woody Woodpecker. On the unfunny side there's anybody who has ever played the accordion professionally.”
Jessica Harper - K.C. Downing
Mark Linn-Baker - Benjy Stone

“I entered this campaign with one purpose only, to point out and make public the dishonesty, the downright villainy of Boss Jim W. Gettys' political machine, now in complete control of the government of this state.”
Orson Welles - Kane

“- Connie: Even in the old days he was known as an honest crook.
- Dr. Poole: That's an oxymoron.”

Chazz Palminteri - Connie
Tim Curry - Dr. Poole

“What kinda lawyer don't know how to lie? Lie and lawyer go together lie-awyer... lie-awyer!”
Tyler Perry - Mable 'Madea' Simmons