“- Gen. Pierre Fontaine: We are not certain, but our intelligence reports that there's going to be another assassination attempt on Hitler.
- Gen. Worden: Again? They can't do that. Kill their own Führer? That's cheating!
- Gen. Bulldog Bardsley: Quite right, old boy.”
Denis Holmes - Gen. Pierre Fontaine
Ernest Borgnine - Gen. Worden
Alan Barry - Gen. Bulldog Bardsley

Hitler goes to a fortune-teller and asks, "When will I die?" and the fortune-teller replies, "On a Jewish holiday". Hitler then asks, "How do you know that?" and she replies, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday".
Robin Williams - Jakob

“He's technically Jewish but wants to be a Nazi.”

Jeannie Berlin - Aunt Reet

“I'm an atheist, but I resented the fact however obliquely that they implied that Auschwitz was basically just a theme park.”
Woody Allen - David Dobel

You know there were actually groups in Germany called "Jews for Hitler"? They were deluded, they thought he'd be good for the country.
Woody Allen - David Dobel