“- David Shayne: I studied playwrighting with every teacher, I read every book...
- Cheech: Let me tell you somethin' about teachers. I hate teachers. Those blue-haired bitches used to whack us with rulers. Forget teachers.”
John Cusack - David Shayne
Chazz Palminteri - Cheech

“Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another.”

Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“I'm an engineer! I stopped running when Nixon was president!”
Donald Sutherland - Jerry O'Neill

“- Drix: Where did you study?
- Osmosis Jones: Study? When you grow up on the wrong side of the digestive track, you ain't got no money for no fancy schools.”
David Hyde Pierce - Drix
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

“People say, You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him.”
Eugene Levy - Dr. Allan Pearl