“- Commander Kevin Dunne: I was three feet away from a known terrorist, and I had my eyes buried in some broad's tits.
- Rick Santoro: Well, Kevin, this may not make you feel better, but don't you see? That's what she was there for. That was the plan. To give you a boner. And you got one. Congratulations, you're human.”
Gary Sinise - Commander Kevin Dunne
Nicolas Cage - Rick Santoro

“- Maureen: Hey. That is it, actually. Since you asked, that's what I get from him. Something personal. Besides getting it done where it counts, which he does. Cheston and I reach each other. He's tender and sweet and smart and funny and a million things that you aren't.
- Ben Kalmen: I was once, honey. It doesn't last.”

Olivia Thirlby - Maureen
Michael Douglas - Ben Kalmen

“Men shouldn't be charming. It's disgusting!”
Tom Wilkinson - The Marquess of Queensberry

“- Hillary: Guys are dogs.
- Jane: Axl Rose?
- Hillary: Yeah he's a dog, but with him it's like he knows what he is and he's not a phony and thats cool.”
Renée Humphrey - Hillary
Leslie Hope - Jane

“- Colonel Mustard: You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies.
- Mrs. White: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.”
Martin Mull - Colonel Mustard
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. White