“That's why these lesbians are always going out and buyin', spendin' all their dough on sexual appliances and erotic monkey wrenches and shit, tryin' to compensate for what they don't have... the penis.”
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“Man, of course men gives better blow jobs! Listen, I know what it feels like to get my dick sucked, right? And I know what I like when I get my dick sucked. So when I'm sucking a dick, I know that what I'm doing is what I like and that is the best of it that can be done.”
Norman Reedus - Brautigan

“- Shannon: Jana, isn't that your muff diving little sister over there with her disgusting boscoe-flavored girlfriend?
- Jana: Insert it in your clammy crevice, will ya, Shannon?”
Teresa Hill - Shannon
Denise Richards - Jana

“As long as you keep your work zipped up around me, I don't give a rat-crap what or where you shove your show. Are we done being neighbors for now?”

Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall

“How can I put this delicately? It's just that I'm not really in the vagina business.”

Stephen Fry - Peter Morton