“That's why these lesbians are always going out and buyin', spendin' all their dough on sexual appliances and erotic monkey wrenches and shit, tryin' to compensate for what they don't have... the penis.”
Ben Affleck - Larry Gigli

“- Lucia DeLury: Vagina, vagina, vagina. Does that word do anything for you?
- Bill Truitt: I don't think it does much for anyone, gay or straight.”
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury
Martin Donovan - Bill Truitt

“- Andrew: That drag queen is amazing, huh Billy? He totally looks like a woman.
- Billy: Ok, I need to know that his penis is large enough to sustain this relationship.”
Christopher Bradley - Andrew
Sean Hayes - Billy Collier

“Man, of course men gives better blow jobs! Listen, I know what it feels like to get my dick sucked, right? And I know what I like when I get my dick sucked. So when I'm sucking a dick, I know that what I'm doing is what I like and that is the best of it that can be done.”
Norman Reedus - Brautigan

“- Shannon: Jana, isn't that your muff diving little sister over there with her disgusting boscoe-flavored girlfriend?
- Jana: Insert it in your clammy crevice, will ya, Shannon?”
Teresa Hill - Shannon
Denise Richards - Jana