“Can you believe I conceived him with one testicle? No really, it's true. I only have one because the other one never dropped. It's called an undescending testicle. It's not uncommon. But look at him! Imagine what he would've looked like if I had two!”
Dustin Hoffman - Bernie Focker

“At the end, I had my father in a nursing home. I gave him the best doctors in Illinois. He was a little senile... not much. I never spent much time with him. I was too busy. Finally, when I got around to seeing him, he didn't recognize me. Till the day he died, he didn't know who the hell I was.”
Héctor Elizondo - Charlie Gargas

“- William Lightbody: They're dead! They've been electrocuted!
- Endymion Hart-Jones: Rather a severe cure for flatulence, I do admit.”
Matthew Broderick - William Lightbody
John Neville - Endymion Hart-Jones

“- Fuzzy: Is your father dead?
- Dr. Wilbur Larch: Cirrhosis. It's a disease of the liver.
- Fuzzy: What, a liver killed him?
- Dr. Wilbur Larch: No, alcohol killed him. He drank himself to death.”
Erik Per Sullivan - Fuzzy
Sir Michael Caine - Dr. Wilbur Larch

“- Hilary O'Neil: I told Estelle you have a terminal disease.
- Victor Geddes: What?
- Hilary O'Neil: Assholeitis.”
Julia Roberts - Hilary O'Neil
Campbell Scott - Victor Geddes