Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful. But you gotta know that sooner or later you're gonna be screaming at each other about who's gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legalfirm of "That's mine, this is yours".
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“- Oliver Rose: And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer!
- Barbara Rose: Best your money can buy!”
Michael Douglas - Oliver Rose
Kathleen Turner - Barbara Rose

“I told you how to avoid divorce lawyers. You get married, and you stay married.”
Cedric the Entertainer - Lamar

“Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, divorce lawyers see good people at their worst.”
Kyle Bornheimer - Ted

“- Charlie Gordon: Should've had him neutered.
- Liz LaBreche: Oh, I did, ha ha. Except I used an attorney instead of a doctor.”

Walter Matthau - Charlie Gordon
Dyan Cannon - Liz LaBreche