“- Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.
- Sonny Koufax: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.
- Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.
- Sonny Koufax: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.”
Jonathan Loughran - Mike
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Helen Cooper: It's just like kissing a guy.
- Joan: No it's not.”

Heather Juergensen - Helen Cooper
Jackie Hoffman - Joan

“- Jane: My mom received this anonymous phone call from a person who said that they saw me kissing a girl and when she asked me about it I told her it wasn't true.
- Jimmy: Okay, you lost me. It doesn't sound like you have a problem.
- Jane: ...but I lied to her. I did kiss a girl. And I slept with a girl.”
Ellen Muth - Jane
RuPaul - Jimmy

“- Dwight: [as Kate Veatch kisses Joyce] I told you she was a lesbian.
- Peter La Fleur: Wow. Good call.
- Kate Veatch: Hey! I'm not a lesbian.
- Peter La Fleur: You're not?
- Kate Veatch: No. I'm bisexual.
[she kisses Peter]”
Chris Williams - Dwight
Vince Vaughn - Peter La Fleur
Christine Taylor - Kate Veatch

- Sam: Daddy, are you a "faggot"?
- Robert Whittaker: Where did you hear that word?
- Sam: Kyle told it to me.
- Robert Whittaker: And did Kyle tell you what it means?
- Sam: Yes.
- Robert Whittaker: Well, what does it mean?
- Sam: It's when two boys kiss and they go to the opera.
Malcolm Stumpf - Sam
Rupert Everett - Robert Whittaker