“- Aunt Agnes: What is that you're reading? Show me.
- Cedric: It's the new E. M. Forster novel.
- Aunt Agnes: Oh! Not another of them! Is it amusing?
- Cedric: Why, I find it difficult to identify with the characters, but the locations are quite enchanting.”
Prunella Scales - Aunt Agnes
Robert Portal - Cedric

“- Peter McGowan: Maybe that's everything in writing: a catchy title.
- Debra Salhany: So is that why you decided to call your first novel 'How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog'?
- Peter McGowan: Oh, that isn't mere affectation. That's a practical guidebook full of juicy bits on suburban terrorism.”
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Peter McGowan
Peri Gilpin - Debra Salhany

“- Dave Jennings: Teaching is just a way to pay the bills until I finish my novel.
- Donald Schoenstein: How long you been workin' on it?
- Dave Jennings: Four and a half years.
- Larry Kroger: It must be very good.
- Dave Jennings: It's a piece of shit. Would anyone like to smoke some pot?”
Donald Sutherland - Dave Jennings
Peter Riegert - Donald Schoenstein
Tom Hulce - Larry Kroger

“There was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again!”
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers

“- Young Joan: A writer has to write.
- Elaine Mozell: A writer has to be read, honey.”
Annie Starke - Young Joan
Elizabeth McGovern - Elaine Mozell