“Did you ever hear of a thing called paranoia? No, I guess you didn't. Well, it's what happens to people when they get to believe they're something they're not.”

Harry Shannon - Florida Doctor

“- Kevin Dillon: It's the treasure, concealed in the slime of dragons.
- Maxwell Kane: It's a woman's purse, and it's covered with crap.”
Kieran Culkin - Kevin Dillon
Elden Henson - Maxwell Kane

“Jacey pretended to care for Alice so well, the illusion became so complete that even he was fooled.”
Michael Keaton - Narrator

“- Nick: This is a wonderful moment for me, Mr. Slater. I've never met a fictional character before. How new and exciting this must all be for you.
- Jack Slater: Hey, I just found out I was imaginary. I mean, how would you feel if somebody made you up? Your job, your marriage, your kids.”
Robert Prosky - Nick
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Jack Slater

“Many young men who should be able to move out simply can't. It's called failure to launch.”

Sarah Jessica Parker - Paula