“Listen, there's a bunch of people from the cemetery who are stark, staring, mad, and they'll kill you and eat you if they catch you. It's like a disease. It's like rabies, only faster, a lot faster. That's why you've got to come and get us out of here now... right now!”

Clu Gulager - Burt

“- Commander Clement: What happened?
- Betty: Plague!
- Commander Clement: Plague?
- Betty: All sudden like! Lucky I was out.
- Commander Clement: That man's got a sword in him!
- Betty: He fell on it.”

Eric Idle - Commander Clement
Madeline Kahn - Betty

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall

“- Flo Addams: Maybe he won't wanna leave. He told me on a postcard he's in a grand hideout and having a swell time with his mental disorder.
- Little John Sarto: If he ever told you that on a postcard, maybe they ought to keep him in there.”

Ann Sothern - Flo Addams
Edward G. Robinson - Little John Sarto

“There will be epidemics of greed, hate and ignorance. We must fight them in life as we fought syphilis in the laboratory. We must fight, fight. We must never, never stop fighting.”

Edward G. Robinson - Dr. Paul Ehrlich