“- Rusty Griswold: Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
- Clark Griswold: He's not gonna pork her, Russ.
- Rusty Griswold: I think he's gonna.
- Clark Griswold: He may pork her, finish your breakfast.”

Jason Lively - Rusty Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Jane Goodale: Well, don't shit on my broken heart just because you converted to some warped brand of romantic atheism!
- Eddie Alden: It's called self-preservation.
- Jane Goodale: Oh, in other words, your narcotize yourself with casual sex.”
Ashley Judd - Jane Goodale
Hugh Jackman - Eddie Alden

“- Betty: I'm gonna give you a blowjob.
- Gord Brody: Oh Betty. It's only our first date. Don't you think we should go do some romantic stuff first? Maybe take a walk in the park or something?”
Marisa Coughlan - Betty
Tom Greening - Gord Brody

- Mike Chadway: Never talk about your problems 'cause men don't really listen or care.
- Abby: Some men care!
- Mike Chadway: No, some men pretend to care. When we ask how you're doing, it's just guy code for "let me stick my dick in your ass".
Gerard Butler - Mike Chadway
Katherine Heigl - Abby

“- Macleane: My angel, my siren's song, you've ambushed me in the forests of your hair, you've drowned me in the pools of your eyes, you've shackled me to the...
- Lady Darcy: Do shut up! Fuck me!”
Jonny Lee Miller - Macleane
Caroline Quentin - Lady Darcy