“- Ken Hutchinson: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want? ’Cause we're gonna stick to this?
- David Starsky: I've always had a thing for blondes.
- Ken Hutchinson: Good, cause I'll take anything.”
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson
Ben Stiller - David Starsky

“- Jessica: Hildenburg, I'm sorry I humiliated you in front of the whole school and the visiting eighth graders, but you have no idea what it's like... to wake up every morning... and have to shave your chin.
- Hildenburg: [crying] Yes, I do.”
Rob Schneider - Jessica
Megan Kuhlmann - Hildenburg

“All of the most beautiful women had dark hair. Helen of Troy, Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Joan of Arc to name a few. In fact, it's well known that these fair haired ladies like to sit on men's faces.”
Sir Sean Connery - Ramírez

“Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... they say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls... just wanted to go to sleepforever? Or lips... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert.”
Al Pacino - Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade

“What is a brunette standing between two blondes? An interpreter.”
Madonna - Sarah Jennings