“Do you know, Bernadette, if you and the other so-called members of the top 10 would spend half the time on your books that you do down at that inn, you could all be in Harvard tomorrow?”
Frances Hyland - Mrs. Patterson

“- Darnell Lewis: When you was at Harvard, did you ever get raped for failing a test?
- James King: I think that's more of a Yale thing.”
Kevin Hart - Darnell
Will Ferrell - James

“- Larry Kroger: What are you majoring in?
- Brunella: Primitive cultures.”

Tom Hulce - Larry Kroger
Eliza Roberts - Brunella

“- Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
- Patrick Bateman: Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.”
Willem Dafoe - Donald Kimball
Christian Bale - Patrick Bateman

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener