“- Frieda: I was saying, tonight you must not smoke such a big cigar. Your voice was very bad at tonight's show.
- Hans: Please, Frieda, don't tell me what I do. When I want a cigar, I smoke a cigar. I want no orders from a woman.”
Daisy Earles - Frieda
Harry Earles - Hans

“- Sally Jackson: I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer.
- Dorian Montier: Oh, can you sing?
- Sally Jackson: No, that's why they call them dreams.”
Drew Barrymore - Sally Jackson
Luke Wilson - Dorian Montier

“Under British law, singing badly is not a crime.”
Oscar James - Miguel

“- Rhonda Truitt: How long can they keep this up?
- Chelsea Farmer: Forever. They have a fight song with the word cock in it.”

Marieh Delfino - Rhonda Truitt
Lena Cardwell - Chelsea Farmer

“- Will: Is there anything she can't do?
- Matt: She can't sing. Not a note. Sounds like a coyote in a trash compactor.”

A.J. Buckley - Will
Derek Hamilton - Matt