“Never date a man who knows more about your vagina than you do.”
Robin Bartlett - Anne

“- Mrs. White: Oh, you're a doctor?
- Professor Plum: I am, but I don't practice.
- Miss Scarlet: Practice makes perfect. Ha! I think most men need a little practice, don't you Mrs. Peacock?”
Madeline Kahn - Mrs. White
Chris Lloyd - Professor Plum
Lesley Ann Warren - Miss Scarlet

“My doctor totally messes up my nose job. I ask him to make me looked like Gwyneth Paltrow, I get off the surgery table looking life freakin' Shrek.”
Shawn Wayans - Kevin Copeland

- Dr. Kersten: Funky, buttloving!
- George: Did he say "funky buttloving?"
Ross Lehman - Dr. Kersten
Patrick LaBrecque - George

“- Eugene G. Roe: You're a good nurse.
- Renee Lemaire: No. I never want to treat another wounded man again. I'd rather work in a butcher's shop.”
Shane Taylor - Eugene G. Roe
Lucie Jeanne - Renee Lemaire