“Friends, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to look the potato of injustice right in the eye. There's a powerful evil force in the universe that lives in Channel 8 and I've seen it. And I don't want to go pop its ugly greasy head around here. Do you?”
Michael Richards - Stanley Spadowski

“- D'Artagnan: The Cardinal! We have to hurry!
- Porthos: You two have a date?
- D'Artagnan: No. It's the Cardinal. He's conspiring against the king.
- Aramis: Tell us something we don't know.”
Chris O'Donnell - D'Artagnan
Oliver Platt - Porthos
Charlie Sheen - Aramis

“They're saying something. They sound like they're conspiring to conspire. I can feel the lies vibrating from their home.”

Luis Guzmán - Ray Castro

“- General Arturo Salazar: How did you find out about this?
- Javier Rodriguez: A little bird told me.
- General Arturo Salazar: What is the name of your little bird?
- Javier Rodriguez: It doesn't have a name.
- General Arturo Salazar: Those fucking anonymous ones!”
Tomas Milian - General Arturo Salazar
Benicio del Toro - Javier Rodriguez

“- Robert Clayton Dean: Conspiracy theorists of the world unite.
- Brill: It's more than a theory with me. I'm a former conspirer.”
Will Smith - Robert Clayton Dean
Gabriel Byrne - Brill