“Ladies and gentlemen, you're being detained against your will, and for that I apologize. It is not our intention in any way to harm you, you will not be detained one minute longer than is necessary for us to complete our mission.”
Ed Harris - General Francis X. Hummel

“- Delgardo: Show me no mercy, give me no bail! I'm ready and willing to go to jail!
- Baxter: I'm not going to send you to jail for two reasons: first, I refuse to make a martyr of you, and second, it is still being redecorated.”
Billy Connolly - Delgado
Sir Michael Caine - Baxter

“- Martland: Can you think of a good reason why I shouldn't arrest you right now?
- Mortdecai: I eschew discomfort?”
Ewan Gordon McGregor - Martland
Johnny Depp - Mortdecai

“- Marsha Dwiggins: Will you ever kill anyone again, Karl?
- Karl Childers: I don't reckon I got no reason to kill nobody.”
Sarah Boss - Marsha Dwiggins
Billy Bob Thornton - Karl Childers

“- State Trooper: You boys gonna go undefeated?
- Brian Chavez: Yes sir.
- State Trooper: You boys gonna win state?
- Brian Chavez: Yes sir.
- State Trooper: Good.”
Gene Burns - State Trooper
Jay Hernandez - Brian Chavez