“Hey, kids, it's me. I bet you thought that I was dead. But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head. Ha ha ha.”
Shane Farberman - Clown

“- Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?
- Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.”
Bill Murray - Dr. Peter Venkman
Harold Ramis - Dr. Egon Spengler

“- Clairee Belcher: Janice Van Meter got hit with a baseball. It was fabulous.
- Truvy Jones : Was she hurt?
- Clairee Belcher: I doubt it. She got hit in the head.”
Olympia Dukakis - Clairee Belcher
Dolly Parton - Truvy Jones

“- Moses: See that, your head hurts 'cus you feel guilty.
- Keats: My head hurts 'cus you shot me in it!”
Adam Sandler - Moses
Damon Wayans - Keats

“- Dr. Suzanne Carter: What are you doing here?
- Paul Blake: Well, I'm kinda bleeding in your doorway. Can I come in?
- Dr. Suzanne Carter: Sure. Didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?”
Harley Jane Kozak - Dr. Suzanne Carter
Scott Bakula - Paul Blake